In an interview with Sowetan, Nadia Nakai opened up about the profound grief and loneliness she’s experienced after the tragic death of her boyfriend, rapper Kiernan “AKA” Forbes, almost a year ago.
The Zimbabwean-born artist shared how the past year has been the most difficult of her life, particularly because Kiernan’s death marked the first time she lost someone close to her. The pain of that loss was amplified by the public nature of her mourning.
Kiernan was shot and killed in a tragic incident on February 10, 2023, just hours before midnight in Durban. He was 35 years old. Reflecting on the immense loss, Nakai admitted that this grieving process was unfamiliar to her, as his funeral was the first one she had ever attended.
During this heartbreaking time, one of the people who helped Nakai navigate her grief was Bianca Naidoo, the widow of late rapper Riky Rick. Bianca, who had faced a similar loss, provided crucial support and understanding as Nakai struggled with the overwhelming emotions of losing a partner in the public eye. “She has been quite instrumental in helping me deal with this pain because she knows how it feels to lose someone you loved who was a superstar,” Nakai said, noting how their shared experience created a deep bond between them.
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The outpouring of support from fans has also played a significant role in Nakai’s healing process. However, certain moments, like Christmas, have been particularly hard. “Christmas was especially tough because I spent it alone… the one before was beautiful, we had a blended family,” she recalled. New Year’s, too, was difficult as she had celebrated the previous year with Kiernan while on the road. For Nakai, the months of December to March remain the hardest time of the year.
One way Nakai has channeled her grief is through music. Just a month after Kiernan’s passing, she began writing music to cope with the pain—something that was also part of AKA’s therapeutic process when he was alive. From this emotional journey, the song “Never Leave” was born, a tribute to her late partner, which will be released on what would have been AKA’s 36th birthday. In the song, Nakai expresses her deep longing for Kiernan, pleading that he never had to leave. “I wish he didn’t have to pass away and leave all of us,” she shared.
Additionally, Nakai is preparing to release two music projects, one of which will be a deeply personal tribute to Kiernan. “At first, I didn’t intend to release a project, but I wanted to find a way to heal,” she explained. “Music was his way of dealing with pain, and I thought I should do the same.”
Nakai also reflected on the incredible support she’s received from Kiernan’s family, including his mother, Lynn, and his daughter Kairo’s mother, DJ Zinhle. Despite the unimaginable pain of losing her son, Lynn has been there for Nakai, offering comfort and support. “Lynn has a big heart, and we’ve grown closer since Kiernan’s passing,” Nakai said. “This support made me feel like God’s favourite.”
Nakai also expressed her gratitude for the opportunity to maintain her relationship with Kairo. “The family allowed me to maintain the relationship I had with Kairo… the one I had when his dad was still alive. It has allowed me to experience Kiernan as if he was still here,” she said.
Through her grief, Nakai holds onto cherished memories of Kiernan, especially the way he would let his guard down around her, seeking comfort and affection. “He wanted to be treated like a baby and be cuddled, for me that was a privilege that I will forever cherish,” she concluded.
As Nadia Nakai continues to process her loss, she finds solace in her music and the unwavering support from those who loved Kiernan, ensuring his legacy lives on in both her heart and her work.
