In the 1990s, South African actress Palesa Madisakwane and media personality Somizi Mhlongo were involved in a relationship that resulted in the birth of their daughter, Bahumi.
Reflecting on her experience, Madisakwane recently opened up about feeling unprepared for motherhood, revealing that she returned to her grandparents’ home upon learning of her pregnancy. “It was a lot. It was a lot at that time,” she shared.
In a video posted on X, Madisakwane remarked, “I had a child with a famous gay man, unknowingly. Thirty years later, I can now speak about it.”
During that period, Madisakwane faced societal judgment, particularly regarding Mhlongo’s sexuality. Speculation about their relationship was widespread, with some even accusing her of attempting to “trap” him.
“People said I wanted to trap him,” she recalled, highlighting the questions raised about how a gay man could father a child.
At the time, Madisakwane had no knowledge of Mhlongo’s sexual orientation, noting that he didn’t display the stereotypical behaviors associated with being gay, leading her to believe he was straight. “Funny enough, he didn’t act gay or seem flamboyant,” she explained. It wasn’t until she spoke to his family that she started to understand his sexuality.
Palesa Madisakwane on Parenting and Societal Judgments After Her Relationship with Somizi Mhlongo
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In a 2022 interview, Madisakwane reflected on the confusion she felt upon discovering the truth. “It was a confusing time in my life when I found out that my daughter’s father is gay,” she admitted. It was Mhlongo’s sister and his late mother, Mary Mhlongo, who eventually confirmed it.
She recalled her conversation with his mother, who told her, “My child, you can see how Somizi is – he isn’t like other boys. Give us the child and go on with your life.”
Over time, Mhlongo has shared his journey of self-discovery. While he initially identified as gay, he later came to describe himself as pansexual, meaning he is attracted to people regardless of gender. “At some point, I thought I was gay. At some point, I thought I was bi(sexual), but now I think I’m pansexual. Being pansexual … I am attracted to whomever I am attracted to at the time,” he explained.
Despite the complexities of their past, Madisakwane and Mhlongo have worked toward understanding and have successfully co-parented their daughter.
